My name is Hazel. Augustus Waters was the great star-crossed love of my life. Ours was an epic love story, and I won’t be able to get more than a sentence into it without disappearing into a puddle of tears. Gus knew. Gus knows. I will not tell you our love story, because - like all real love stories - it will die with us, as it should.”

fake-mermaid:

i know the world doesn’t revolve around me but it kinda does

zftw:

genderthief:

i gave my dog a tortilla chip ten minutes ago and she won’t fucking eat it she’s just staring at me with it in her mouth 

she’s waiting for the salsa

renfamous:

British Kitchen Nightmares: “The risotto is overcooked and your restaurant needs new lighting.”

American Kitchen Nightmares: “YOUR STAFF DOES DRUGS ON THE CLOCK, YOUR FAMILY THINKS YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE AND THERE’S A LIVE RAT IN MY FOOD.”

meladoodle:

coolgirlfriend:

boys who can pull off facial hair are hot

i think you’re supposed to use a razor

libeeya:

it’s that “don’t you get hot in that?” time of the year 

gharaajapardesi:

Life lesson: if you meet someone and they say ‘I hate rap music, except for Eminem and Macklemore,’ run far far away.